Whoa!

Who ordered the snow? Anyone? Order of snow?

It's supposed to slow down this afternoon. I think there's enough accumulation that I'll have to go out and shovel. And it was so nice yesterday! So much for cleaning the leaves out of the corner of my driveway. :P

Anyway, Nanowrimo stuff. I won late Friday night, and called it done at 50,000 words plus some change. And the end result of the month is one volume each for both of my Fushigi Yuugi long fanfic series, and a decent seed for the Superhero High story later.

Piers Anthony's "pep" talk arrived today, and since I don't have any Nano spirit to crush now, I figured I'd read it and laugh my ass off. It's about what I expected from him.
The first four paragraphs are insult. Tongue in cheek insult (I hope), but still. One paragraph of tongue-in-cheek insult can be used to good effect; four is serious overkill.
The fifth one is backhanded complement -- i.e. actual insult. "You've got a 99% chance of complete worthlessness even if you succeed, but good for you for trying anyway."
Paragraph six is bragging on himself. "Why, I do this rate all the time, and I'm an old fart." Uh, Piers? You write full time. It's not really that comforting to be told that someone who has up to 16 hours a day writes at about the rate we need to achieve in 1-3 hours. Honestly, it's a little insulting.

The next two paragraphs are really pat writing advice that's been given in better forms by other people.
And the final paragraph... Um, did the Nano guys tell him that this contest starts at the first of the month, and his talk would be coming out at the end? Because he's writing like he thinks this went out OCTOBER 30th.

If someone told me that they had purposely planned for his pep talk to go out the last day so it wouldn't discourage very many participants, I'd believe it.


Now, I need to do a little complaining about how the Nanowrimo organization is run.
First, a little respect for what the organization does. It is not easy to run a site with over 100,000 members, especially one with a ton of traffic in November and then nothing for the rest of the year. It's quite a challenge they've taken on.
That said, they haven't met that challenge very well.

1) The site always goes down the first few days of the month. Always. That doesn't have to happen in this day and age. There are service providers that can temporarily expand the capabilities for one site to keep it up under unexpected high loads, while keeping it low otherwise. Besides, maybe I misunderstood, but last year didn't Chris say if they met their fundraising goals there would be shiny new servers to make sure that never happened again? Because they exceeded that goal by a fair margin, and things are actually worse this year. For example, they never did reenable the forum search. It was disabled to decrease bandwidth draw, and bandwidth use never got low enough to reenable it.

2) They can't keep shirts in stock in the store. I can understand running out at the end of the month, not wanting to be stuck with extra stock. But the first weekend I went to buy one, and they were out of just about every size, most especially my own. I went to the forum to see what the deal was, as saw a notice that they had run out on Tuesday, and got more in on Friday. Since I was ordering on Saturday or Sunday, that shows pretty well how quickly they sold out. Furthermore, I was checking periodically throughout the month, and I never did catch my size in stock. I eventually ended up going one size down and planning to not put it in the dryer until I lose a little more weight in case it shrinks. But if I weren't losing weight, I just wouldn't have bought one, and how many people just don't come back when they find their shirt not available?

This just shouldn't happen at this point. The contest has been running for 10 years. They ought to know from past participation how many participants order shirts and in what sizes. Even with the bad economy, you can make a decent guess. Order half the previous amount and they wouldn't run out so quickly.

Or, if they don't have the capital for that, 1) shame on them for poor planning. 2) Do pre-orders. Put up a notice that this is how it's working, take orders for all sizes everything in stock, and as you get enough to fill an order from the supplier, trigger it and send them out. They could do this until the 15th (or, if previous years give them an indication of a better date, use it), and then sell only the physical stock on hand so they don't end up with extra stock or having to order 2,000 shirts to fulfill one order.

3) Why, now, the press on not just making 50,000 words, but actually finishing a story, even if it means you rush through parts? That's fine for some people, but not everyone. I really hope this vanishes, but if I can't have that, I hope it remains an informal thing and doesn't become another winning requirement in the next few years

4) And finally, my obligatory complaints about the Young Writers Program. As many of you know, the Young Writers Program horrifies me. I see 20,000 kids who are having the joy of writing crushed out of them by well-meaning but hopelessly misguided teachers. One of the Daily Q&A interviews was with a teacher from a school where the entire school has to participate. And then they start editing on December 1 to 'publish' the thing, and the teachers read over it. Oh my God! Did someone look into my own personal adolescent hell and make it manifest?

I cannot in good conscience support a program that I know would have destroyed my own very passionate love of writing as a teenager, which is why I cannot give a straight-up donation to Nanowrimo.

But beyond that, let's go back in time to before the Young Writers Program. Now, I could be wrong with this, so feel free to correct me. But before that, Nano was partnered with a program that built libraries in disadvantaged countries. IIRC, any money Nano had left over after paying their expenses went to this program. I would be completely behind that. Nano would have some of my money if that was the case.

But a year or two ago, Nano decided that instead they wanted to focus on their own effort, the Young Writers Program. And at that point, from my perspective, things really went to hell in a handbasket. Now there's constant struggles for funds to support both programs, and I don't think they're going to make it this year. I can only imagine the legal stuff and extra monitoring they must go through to run an underage forum -- one that allows adults as well so teachers can participate. And what ever happened to the laptop lending library? Did that die before, or did the Young Writers Program kill that, too?

In my opinion, not only is the Young Writers Program antithetical to its stated purpose (i.e. it destroys enjoyment of writing in the very children in whom it's trying to culviate it), but it's threatening the original adult contest as well.

When Engineers Watch Cartoons

I've got a box set of Batman: The Animated Series DVDs, and I need to get another because I'm almost done. The series has survived the test of time well; it's still a pretty fun watch most of the time.

However, as an engineer, the episode "The Clock King" had me laughing my ass off, so I am going to make a terribly geeky entry about it. (With spoilers, of course.)

First scenario, the Clock King locks Batman in a bank vault with a high speed pump that is pumping the oxygen out out of the room. Ooh, this is impressive, isn't it? Especially since the pump isn't connected to anything. It's just sitting there in a box. We even move the box, just to prove it. As near as I can tell, it's diabolically pumping air out of the bank vault and into... the bank vault. Huh.

But it gets better. Batman can't just disable the pump, because the housing is rigged with a vibration-triggered bomb!
Let me say that again. There is a vibration triggered bomb, on a pump. Pumps don't shake at all, do they? Especially not when they're pumping something compressible like air, right?

Clock King, dude, forget the revenge scheme. You need to go patent that vibration-free, connection-free pump thing!

But we're not done. The next one is common to lots of cartoons, though. So, we're in a huge gear works, and we jam up one of the gear meshes.
Now of course when you do this, you never just jam thing up, and yet you also never just destroy the obstacle, strip a gear of all of its teeth, or twist a shaft in half. There are absolutely no weak links in cartoon gear works. No, instead the entire gearworks, every little bitty piece, always rips itself apart in an incredibly catastrophic and often explosive manner.

And yet, it's still fun to watch. I love being a nerd.

Geeky Stuff

First, anyone out there who has been waiting for Ravelry to put those awesome hoodies up in the store, I've gone and ensured it'll happen today. I went and bought myself some T-shirts without waiting for it because I really wanted one of those "Bob in a pile of yarn" shirts and they were going fast. I hope I got an OK size. I ordered by bust without even thinking about waist measurement or shrinkage. *^_^*

Second, could the Nanowrimo people maybe get a few guest pep talkers who DON'T try to grind me into the dirt and make me stop? First Phillip Pullman tells me I'll never write anything worth reading because I just don't read enough fiction*, then Meg Cabot yells at me for having fun and demands I go back to the story that is doomed to failure. Yeesh.

I'm starting to think I should just opt out of the 'pep' talks. Especially when I see Piers Anthony on the incoming list. It's his misogyny; do I really have to have him delivered to my home? :P


*I like reading, and I do read books fairly regularly. But I do not meet Pullman's voracious reader of a fiction. With the limited time in my typical workday, I'm more likely to spend it making something than reading, and for every fiction book I read, I probably read 3 to 6 non-fiction. Nonetheless, I don't think my few and far between finished stories are that terrible. :P

Movie: 1408 (spoilers)

This was bad. This was very bad. This was so bad that I can say exactly one good thing about this movie: the protagonist reaches freak-out point and tries to throw in the towel at about the time a real person (well, me) would.
That's it. That's the only good thing I can say about it.

Special effects, sucked. Maybe the movie would work on a huge screen in a pitch-black theater with a bagillion decibel sound system and nearby stupid easily-freaked teenagers. But it can't stand on its own -- and don't try to tell me that's an unreasonable expectation because I've seen many horror movies that can meet it.

I actually had to pause the movie to have sufficient time to rant during the set-up. So, you're a writer who doesn't really give a shit about anything. The owner of a fairly swank hotel says "I really don't want you to rent this room. If you will stay in a different room, I will give you thousands of dollars worth of freebies, upgrade you to a penthouse suite, AND give you a file that practically writes half of the book you're under contract for with information no one else has." Do you take him up on this offer, or do you insist on spending a night in a room where you "know" nothing is going to happen? OF COURSE you accept the freebies, turn in the book that was half written for you already, and enjoy the sales-heightening effect of being able to write that this room is sooooo scary you were not allowed to stay in it despite threats of lawsuit.

That was where I paused it, but there was plenty both big and small besides that. From as small as, is there actually any library out there that has not updated its microfiche to digital; to the hotel is not going to just say the room is unavailable, because there have probably been other thrill-seekers, they are going to close the room due to a potentially lethal (but unspecified) problem with it. Or it will be perpetually in the state of being remodeled. On the other end, the main guy decides that he'd rather go out the window and try to climb to another room than stay in 1408, when all 1408 has actually done to him is... close a window on his hand, and give some freaky audio-visual effects.

Of course, main guy also keeps drinking the alcohol he's sure was drugged with hallucinogens. Yeah. I'm going to assume the lack of continuity on that bottle is an intentional freakiness of the room and not a collection of 5 million errors.

It's also very obvious that parts that were necessary to the story were edited out. Main guy calls the front desk in a panic, seems to get an amazingly clueless but otherwise fairly innocent (female *snarl*) clerk on the end, and gets disconnected while being connected to the manager. Immediately afterward he finds he is locked in the room. He does not try the phone again. I'm sure there was a shot or scene where he discovers the phone is actually useless and possessed.
And I hope there was originally something else that made the main guy think going out the window was an acceptable solution.
What I really really hate, though, is when they cut something that was in the trailer. They cut something that was in the trailer. So now there's just this zombie scampering around the ductwork without so much as a set-up shot, much less any hint at which dead guy this is supposed to be.


That's the frivolous stuff. There's also some serious problems.
Serious problem 1) Portrayal of atheism. I apologize to my atheist friends, even though I know this is nothing new. I'm afraid the message of this movie seems to be "serves ya right, ya stinkin' atheist". But of course, if you rediscover your faith in God, we'll let you destroy the evil and even get your ass saved. Although somehow serious burns will leave no visible scars but inexplicably jack up your leg something fierce.

Serious Problem 2) Lily, the main guy's wife.
SOB: "Honey, my life is in danger. I need you to call the police now."
WIFE: (whines) "But I want to talk about our relationship."
So, your husband literally walks out on you during the hardest time in your entire life. He vanishes without so much as a word. You can't even divorce him because you can't FIND the S.O.B., all while trying to deal with the trauma of losing your daughter to a tragic long-term illness. He shows up again a year later without so much as a howdeedo. Do you go:
a) "great, sign these papers. I'm keeping everything, you bastard. And I'm getting a chunk of your book royalties."
b) "oh you poor baby, let me take care of you and nurture you and completely put my life on hold to put all of your needs both physical and emotional first."
I'd do a. And maybe punch him in the nose, too.
Mikael Håfström and the (all male) writing staff expect b.

Don't waste your time. There's better horror out there.

It was good enough for Scheharazade.

I am about to pull the cheapest Nanowrimo stunt I have yet to pull in 2 and a half years of competing. The Instant Ninjas have NOTHING on this. (Actually, I really liked last year's Instant Ninjas. I am going to keep the Instant Ninjas in the final draft of Complications of Lycanthropy if it is at all possible.)

First, little backstory. Going into this, I had four story possibilities. The next volume of my Fushigi Yuugi AU, a light steampunk thing, a 'fantasy hidden in real world' deal with Immortals, or this light superheroic thing.
I made the wrong call. Stories are kind of like fruit; they're best if you get them when they're ripe. You can pick them too early; you can let them ripen too long. I picked this one too early.

As a result, I am not having a whole lot of fun. My excitement fizzled after scene two, and it has been a major slog every day. This is not how Nano should go. Nano is supposed to: week one I'm bouncing on the walls thrilled, week two I'm still excited but starting to get angst puppies, week 3 I'm whining like a spoiled toddler, and week 4 I'm doing a happy dance across the finish line.
That's not going to happen with this story. At best I'm going to have a miserable month, at worst the angst puppies are going to maul it to death.

On top of that, this morning I picked up volume one of my FY AU and read a bit, and you know what? That's good stuff. That looks like fun. I shoulda done that one.

So you know what I'm going to do? Mercy, my female Superhero High lead, is going to go home and find that her mother has bought her the latest few tankobon of her favorite manga series. So she is going to sit down for a lazy Saturday of reading Fushigi Yuugi: Ruby Veil and Fushigi Yuugi: Sapphire Veil, and I am going to start writing FY stuff.

I get to keep my 10,000 hard won words, and I get to write something that actually excites me and sounds fun. And if I later decide that FY isn't working after all or this stunt is just TOO cheap, Mercy puts down the tankobon, meets with a friend, and we flash back to chapter 2 and retell the story from her point of view, because I honestly think it'll work better that way. It was originally told from the POV of my male lead, Reno, with the intent of dropping an Everyman into this weird environment and having him learn how to deal with it and eventually find his inner hero. Yeah, that fell flat on its face. Everymen are BORING. Now I really think it would work better to start from the POV of the 16-year-old deep undercover international law enforcement agent *cough* yes it works in story I swear *cough* finding out a new potential cover blower is coming to her school and being right in the thick of all the intrigue right from the start.

Nano participants reading this are saying "sounds normal to me. Go for it."

Well, that set in earlier than usual

Waaah! My Nano sucks, and it's always gonna suck and it's never gonna be any good! Waah!

It is, however, going to be 50,000 words, and that's all that freakin' counts. So nyah! ;P

3672 words and counting.