Underworld: What happens when your GM can't decide between Vampire: The Masquerade and Werewolf: the Apocalypse, and then watches The Matrix. And for this reason, White Wolf sued. The Wachowski brothers, on the other hand, just shook their heads. And maybe snickered.
What to say about Underworld. Oh, I know. BWAHAHAHA! *points and guffaws* I mean, the leather bodysuits and trench coats, and the corsets, and the Hot Topic goth-wannabe wear. And just the name "Kraven" on your cowardly villain. No. Just no. Bad writer, bad. You were supposed to search/replace that before sending it to print. And the genetic bullshit. And going out of our way to wake up Viktor so he'll be around for the "he's evil" reveal when it could have just been written that way straight up to begin with. And none of these battles really mean anything at all because there's absolutely no reason to root for either side. And then Michael turning into this thing that's supposed to be a werewolf/vampire hybrid but looks more like a half man/half spotted newt. And the guy going into Super Standoff Mode and pulling out weapons and all the while he doesn't realize that half his head's been cut off. And the "oh poopie" look when he does realize it. Bwa ha ha!
At least as funny as 300. I can't believe there isn't a Rifftrax for this thing. How is that even possible?
One thing I will give Underworld credit for (OK, the only thing) is the gender swap on the usual stereotype. I mean, usually when you have a chosen one that's being fought over and chased and captured and uncaptured and recaptured and who doesn't really do much, but who has a lover who is constantly bailing them out and doing really kick-ass things to do it, usually the chosen one is female and the ass-kicking lover is male. This was a fairly nice change of pace. Except that the movie's awful.
End conclusion on Underworld: hilariously horrible.
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